ParodyballZ
by blakebs
Summary: Dragonball Z like you've never seen before! With Goku replaced by George W. Bush as the Earth's greatest warrior!


CHAPTER 1

"It has been a year and a half since the last episode of Passions aired... In that time, the world largely forgot about the obscure soap opera and went on with they're lives as if nothing happened. Having saved the world countless times, the Earth's most greatest warrior George W. Bush has enjoyed a life of peace of tranquility following the completion of his eight-year term as President of the United States of America." the narrator explained as we're shown how peaceful the world is.

"Children are frolicking in fields of daisies, the birds are singing, the wind is blowing, a man is choking on a muffin, a naked man is yelling out explicit things to old ladies, a blackout in China has crippled the entire country, someone is throwing a tantrum because they're soap opera sucks like always! The Hulk is on a rampage in Florida, the sky is falling, there is no Santa Clause! Everything you know is a lie!"

"Yep, the Earth is one happy place to visit! Nothing bad ever happens on this planet! Or does it?" the narrator asked cryptically.

Meanwhile, in a crudely built copy of the White House, George W. Bush is in the middle of some very important business!

"And I said, that's no prune, that's my wife!" suddenly the entire house starts shaking.

"Eh, sorry Vladimir... I'm gonna have to call you back!" George said as he hung up the phone and quickly made his way down the staircase, where he is greeted by his best friend and confidante, Karl Rove.

"Report Karl... What's going on?" George asked in a serious tone.

"Its complete and utter pandamonium, Mr. President! People are rioting in the streets, hospitals are overcrowded, As the World Turns hasn't been renewed by CBS, the writers of The Bold and the Beautiful are obviously on drugs! I haven't eaten all day! Prince Albert's in a can! I missed Turkey Dressing day at the Crackle Barrel! And if that wasn't enough, they canceled Power Rangers!" Karl said at the speed of light, George swiftly smacks him in the face.

"Pull yourself together, son... and give me a proper report!"

"Son? Why are you calling me son? We're the same age, more or less..."

"Just give me a report!"

"Frieza's downtown causing all sorts of destruction!" Karl said.

"Frieza?! I should of known! That S.O.B.'s always trying to lure me out!"

"What are we going to do, Mr. President?" Karl asked nervously.

"Well, I'm not sure about you... But I'm definitely going to fight!" George said.

"What should I do while you're doing that, sir?" Karl asked.

"Go shoot at something...." George said point blank.

"Sir, yes sir!" Karl said as he saluted George.

"To the Batcave!" George shouted as he headed back up to his office, lifted up the head of an expensive statue that concealed a big red switch, and promptly pushed it, which activates a secret entrance leading to the Batcave.

"Hello, sir... May I shine your shoes?" Alfred, the butler asked.

"Not today, Alfred. Frieza's on a rampage and I gotta stop him!"

"Very well, sir... Will you be using the Batmobile, Batcopter, or Batboat?" Alfred asked.

"I think I'm gonna need a vehicle a little less inconspicuous! I'll drive the Oscar Meyer Weiner Van!"

"Very well. Do be careful out there!"

"Don't you worry that bad hip of yours! I'll be back in time for dinner!"

"Lucky me, I get to slave over a hot oven!"

"Arevaderche, baby!"

"Arevaderche, baby to you too, sir!"

"I'm gone!"

"And not a moment too soon, jeez!" Alfred said to himself as George drove off.

_In New York, concrete jungle where dreams are made of, there's nothing you can't do, Now you're in New York, these streets will make you feel brand new, the lights will inspire you, let's hear it for New York, New York, New York; _George listened to the radio as he rode through New York.

"Hello, welcome to KFC can I take your order?"

"Yeah, I'll have five orders of mashed potatoes, 1500 pieces of chicken, 1200 biscuits, and a fifty ounce coke!"

"That will be $900 dollars, will that be cash or credit card?"

"Well, cash obviously! I'm no cheapskate!"

An upset stomach and horrific indigestion later...

"I couldn't eat another bite if I wanted too..." George said to himself, nearly paralyzed from all the food.

"Wait, wasn't I suppose to save the world from some evil tyrant?"

Meanwhile in another part of New York Frieza is kicking little puppies and setting fire to trees.

"Yep, I was definitely supposed to save the world from an evil tyrant!"

"Will George W. Bush be able to make it downtown and face Frieza before it's too late? Will the producers of As the World Turns be able to find a new home for the soap? Will Power Rangers ever come back with new episodes? Does this look infected to you?! Why is fanfiction in general ruled by teen angst? And where can I get one of those nifty Oscar Meyer Weiner Vans?! All these answers and more, on the next episode of Parodyball-Z!"

"Next time, on Parodyball-Z..."

"I am Venjix, your world is now my world, and your time is now over!"

"Hey! Fonzie's in the house!"

"Dyno-mite!"

"I am Zordon, an inter-dimensional being caught in a time warp!"

"Do the hustle! Do the hustle!"

"I'm not a crook!"

"I love it when a plan comes together!"

"He's dead, Jim."

Dun dun dun!

End of Chapter 1


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